Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, something similar happened to me, I ended up leaving, I’m not saying that’s what you should do although it was the right thing for me (I had other issues too). It’s rough to overhear yourself being discussed in less than complimentary tones.
Sorry I can’t offer anything more useful than my empathy at this time. Except you strike me as smart and I wonder if this attorney finds you threatening in some way. Just a thought.
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What happened to you, if I make ask? Your experience may help widen my perspective of my situation, @
Discombobulated if you're comfortable sharing?
I do feel like her gossipy-mean-girl behavior puts me in a precarious spot. If I leave because of her, that means, I'm enabling her behavior.
If I stay, and ignore her behavior, that sends her and everyone she gossips to about me, the message that her behavior is what she already knows it to be: immature and how toxic work environments are created.
Usually, supervisors who create toxic work environments, because that's their demented view of what 'leadership' encompasses...for them.
*fear based leadership (people fall into 2 categories; friend or foe to the fear based leader; they create nonsensical, unobtainable, arbitrary goals with their top-down leadership style, and use a punishment and reward system, 'i.e. the carrot and the stick, takes credit for other people's work and gets away with it b/c they are office bullies)
*unhealthy competition for resources (budget, deadlines, roles on projects, credit for successful outcomes on projects, etc.)
*intentional mistrust (gaslighting, undermining, blaming, taking credit for their subordinates work, not recognizing their subordinates accomplishments to the subordinates)
I am applying for other jobs. Don't get me wrong. I want a backup in case she fires me (my state has 'at will' employment so no one is 'safe' from being terminated for any reason whatsoever). I also know that even if I get a new job, there will be toxic employees at THAT place too. So, if I run away from this law firm because two of their attorneys are assholes, what does that say about my leadership skills and my rights as an employee?
We all deserve to work in a stress free workplace. AND, we deserve to call out the players who create a hostile work environment (there are legal statutes that protect some employees but I will have to research that more b/c I don't know if 'hourly' employees are included in those statutes).
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Dang. It’s tough.
To all honesty everyone gossips. But why are they gossiping so others can hear? Why at work? Go out and gossip. Or at home, Especially if they gossip about people who assist them/so ultimately their subordinates.
I don’t know what you could do but perhaps speak to someone above you that you keep hearing attorneys gossip. Maybe they need to be reminded that they create unsafe work environments for others
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It's very tought, @
divine1966.
Yes. You are correct. Every office has that gossiper. I did speak to a higher up - one of the partners. At first, she promised to bring in the female attorney and her supervisor (another partner) to de-escalate the situation (come up with a plan moving forward).
Apparently, they talked her out of it. Because when I met with her, there was the male and female attorney (my two bosses) and all three of them went into 'fight or flight mode' and told me, "we don't want to rehash the situation' which I interpreted as them trying to gaslight me and intimidate me into shutting up.
They followed up with the recommendations from my 30-day review, again, dismissing my complaint entirely about the female attorney's behavior creating a hostile work environment for me, focusing on the fact that I stood outside her door eavesdropping instead of what I actually heard her telling her manager about me.
They concluded the meeting with some shaming, "let's keep this to ourselves. No one else needs to know about it."
Literally, a toxic meeting because when I interrupted them to assert myself, they accused me of being dramatic. Typical gaslighting response to being held accountable. It's not dramatic to assert boundaries with toxic people. It's a healthy response.
Then, what...two weeks later, I catch the female attorney gossiping with the law clerk about me, regaling the whole situation to him. I didn't even linger outside her door. I just walked away and said nothing to no one.
So, this situation has shown me the law firm's leadership style and how little they value their employees' well-being.
I deserve to have the following from my work environment, where I spend the majority of my day:
*psychological safety
*not be bullied or gossiped about
*feel relaxed (toxic work places increase stress levels)
All the partners
need to do to create a healthy work environment at my law firm:
*address psychological safety issues - ask questions to identify the root causes of toxic behavior (i.e. the female attorney gossiping about me to everyone)
*Create a growth-mindset work culture vs. the standard fixed work culture
*listen to complaints with openness and a lack of judgment (don't be easily swayed by other leaders' attitudes or opinions)