Trepidation: what’s the next step?
After treating me for depression over the past six (6) months my primary care physician wants me to be evaluated/treated by a Psychiatrist and possibly start into therapy with a Psychologist. He feels my depression and life situations are worsening and need to be addresses concurrently by professionals. Obviously I trust my PCP as I’ve been his patient for almost 14 years, however I question my own ability and or inability towards dealing with mental health professionals. Since hearing his recommendation my moods have been cycling so rapidly they are almost uncontrollable. Which doesn’t even touch on the fact my husband is 100% against my being under the care of a Psychiatrist.
I accept the fact I am experiencing episodes of major depression aggravated by anxiety so denial isn’t a factor in my situation. I know all too well what I am up against when appraising my mental health. However, I can’t convey to myself the need for professional counseling. The trepidation I experience while simply thinking about entering Psychotherapy almost brings me to a panicked state.
With the hope of desensitizing my fear and ways of thinking/feeling my PCP suggested I join a support group. When I was unable to join a local group He then suggested I try an online support group one of which I would not experience ’face to face’ encounters. (a safer environmental setting). In view of joining this site I felt so overwhelmed by fear that it took me weeks of deliberation before joining. As my PCP stated; I have been so profoundly effected by past encounters with professionals and support persons that I have not allowed myself the opportunity to heal my life’s psychological and emotional wounds…and he’s right. And now I realize the impact the people from my past have had and ingrained into my emotional well-being. I agree with my PCP it is indeed time to heal because the passing of time in and of itself does not heal all wounds.
All of which brings me to this post, I’ve taken the first step towards reconditioning myself and overcoming my apprehension by joining this group. I am determined to overcome my current situation but I am at a loss as to how to proceed. Any suggestions on what step two, three, and four might be???