At least going to new places or places I wasn't scarily sick at because it's the only place I get some sleep. The locked doors, fire alarms, nurses, security guards, etc. make me feel safe enough to actually rest. Everywhere else I go something traumatic to some degree happened. I talked about this in therapy yesterday and she was so happy I slept because I hadn't slept like all of 2023 (I slept a full 8 hours after my COVID shot and 13 hours one day when I moved into here but since then I've been assaulted, threatened, and humiliated so back to not sleeping. Other than that it's been 0-4 hours a night consistently).

I just got out of an IEA and I swear I slept like 20 hours a day after being transferred to the psych unit that I had never been to before. I got lectured by nurses and mental health technicians for sleeping so much, but fk 'em I really needed it.

I'm waiting to hear back if I get into an IP eating disorder unit or see if I can get some sort of financial aid for a residential that my insurance doesn't cover, and I'm sooooo fking excited and hope I can go because I have a feeling I'll sleep more than an hour at a time again. I feel like I fked up the intake appointment and underplayed how bad things are though and I'm afraid they'll say I'm not sick enough.

How do I break this habit? I seriously think this is the reason I get myself hospitalized 2-4 times a year and do so shittily as soon as I get out.