I don't know what I think about the lowering expectations thing. I guess it makes sense. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, though. If I email my therapist and he doesn't email me back sometimes (not always but sometimes) I feel plunged into the depths of despair and abandonment. Do I expect him to email me? Not really... It is just that he has so much power over my feelings. If he emails me I feel elated. If he doesn't then I plunge. I'm not sure how to alter that affect on me without... Withdrawing my caring.

Just because I think that someone isn't worthy of my caring doesn't mean that I think they are all bad or that they don't deserve the caring of others. I just mean that I wish I didn't care about them so much (that it is inappropriately placed, basically). Not that I wish I didn't respect them as worthwhile human beings. Just that I wish I didn't care about them so much. So they didn't have such power to hurt me.

I don't know how to lower expectations without going numb and emotionally withdrawing. Is that what you mean?

> In truth though (and don't tell him this) I'd probably drop the hate eventually. Not for him but because it would be too much pain for me to hold.

You might be surprised... I was surprised with Bob... It has been a couple years now but still... The hate gets just as intense as it always was. It hasn't really let up. Maybe it will in a couple more? I don't know...