Plumbing, especially when the water doesn’t go through, is an emergency. It’s not frivolous spending. Does he not know that?

Christmas gift of 40 to your regular hairdresser is a common and appropriate gift. It’s not outrageous. I’d not complain about that.

You should be able to buy groceries. Let him talk.

I think getting a job is the best bet for you. Retail hires anyone and everyone and you don’t need to be outgoing to get a job. But it doesn’t sound like you want retail job. Why not try something like take medical assistant or biller or administration courses and work in doctors office?

You can’t change your husband but you can change your own life