First thing.... Happy Birthday.

Second, I am sorry about what you dealing with concerning the mother's mass issue. Without getting into too much detail, I can relate. We had a mass in my father's memory a few years ago. My sister didn't like me being there as she felt I was intruding (long story). It was awkward and was a contributing factor why I cut her out of my life. Things were heading that way anyway but this was confirmation that my sister was/is a selfish baby. I'm not suggesting you cut ties with your siblings. That's your decision. I'm just stating I'm glad I was bold enough to stand up to her and told her to leave me and my family alone forever. She didn't like it but I have zero regrets.