@Lemoncake this doesnt even make sense! This reminds me of the time my parents forced me to attend a wedding with them even though i had a huge swollen red pimple on the tip of my nose. I realize now i just had to make an appearance to prove i wasnt pregnant. I was in college. It was humiliating. And just really stupid.

Obviously your relatives are jealous of your considerable accomplishments. I understand how difficult it is to have one foot in the modern educated present of our careers, and the other in the superstitious illiterate past of our immediate family. It is truly an untenable situation.