Dont say that

T and i returned to the subject many times before we both got it right. But its like what yogi berra said about therory and practice: in theory, theyre the same; in practice, theyre not. Wanting him to ask you what you really mean is getting stuck in theory.

I admitted to last t that i wanted prev t-pdoc to come to family dinners to defend and protect me, to prove my worth. You blaming ex-mc for all his wrongdoings is denial of these feelings, for both him and t. Feelings are not facts. These guys are supposed to be SAFE, thats the point. That may be why it feels like t withdraws - he is showing you safety. But you must still state what you feel.