I don't really know exactly where to post this because I'm not sure if this is abuse-related (although my CW said it is), or if this was just regret from a manic episode or the severe dissociation I have been experiencing over the last year.

So I had a very bad 2023. From Feb through halfway through summer I was in a relationship and to be honest don't remember shyt about it other than the good times although I do remember struggling intensely and that halfway through summer my case manager and my IP dr saying I really really really need to cut contact with him. So after 42 days between the ER and the psych ward where he didn't know exactly where I was or how to contact me, I blocked him when I got home and haven't heard from him since.

But he changed his number and texted me a week or two ago and I, forgetting/denying anything was bad about the relationship, said heyyy, yeah, I'll hang out with you, and we've been talking since.

Well, today we were texting and he's like "I know you were in quite a bit of a whirlwind last year, but I've been working on the things we were planning-- investing some time and money into it" (summarizing/paraphrasing, but accurately)

so I asked him what this project was. and his answer involved the words/phrases "business," "salacious," "first shoots," and "I can send you copies." He won't elaborate until we meet in person, and frankly I am scared shytless.

I'm back at the location this guy knows where I live, before this convo I agreed to meeting him (he, who does not give two shyts about consequences of any sort to even more of an extreme than where I was in the past, but now am starting to really want to recover and live and care), and this "unsafe" feeling I always have is turned to the max.

I don't really know what I'm asking for here. Advice? Insight? Punishment? Answers? Just to process and get myself thinking? To be told this is a delusion? All of it? Idk, but I figure I'd just put this out there anyway in case some words spark a flame I need.