I feel miserable tonight. The depression grew 100x when I found out the plans I had carefully made for my birthday this weekend are not even close to what I arranged and expected. I'm sad about that but I can't change it. I I wish I could cry but my meds make me too numb to cry.I feel like the people who changed my plans don't' care about me or something like that. And I know that is not true. I just feel like I don't matter.
I could go on but it doesn't change anything.


I just want my med increase to kick in unreasonably quickly and until it does I'm just not going to feel very positive. I feel like I'll never feel good again though.