Yes. The last time I remember crying was in 2019 when I saw my father for the last time. I hadn't seen him in 20 years and had some things I needed to say to him. I left his room and burst into tears. Even then I only cried for 5 minutes though. i barely cried at all when my non-bio dad died 3 years ago and he was much more of a dad than my bio one ever was. Again, meds.

I need to see my therapist. He can sometimes help me get those feelings out or help me cry. But it needs to be in person. This week I messed up and slept until time to leave so we tried a virtual appointment but my new computer wasn't set up so we wound up with a phone call. And if we aren't face to face he doesn't know what is on my face.

Hopefully this year after the depression ends we can lower some other stuff so I go into it with more wiggle room next year.