One thing I used was push cars that we'd send back and forth between us as I talked. That helped me because then I felt like she wasn't looking at me while we talked but looking at the car or cars. It also created a connection of back and forthness that didn't really happen when I was relaying the memory/experience. I've heard others tossing a balloon, jugglers bag/block, or a ball back and forth. Those I think would require you to watch the person more. The cars require sitting on the floor but eyes can be on the floor not the T.

My head agrees with Therapy Reviewed on the idea that letting someone in or having connections to people might not feel like what we expect it to feel like. But the heart... well it's still really unsure what a healthy connection feels like or something like that.