I was leaving my former work place and I had a lot of handover meetings. I had a colleague at this job, with whom I didn't hang out at all except for a few work matters (we are not really extroverted people). She was selected to pick up some work after me, so my final handovers were with her. I was explaining my work to her and she was glad for it, since no one there had paid such attention to her before, despite the fact that she had a junior position. I explained her some portion of my work and we also talked about some work gossips, so overall really nice experience. I felt like I found some really nice colleague and I was quite sad that I only started talking with her when I was leaving.

This workplace was not really perspective, so I asked her if she is not considering leaving. I also suggested to her that I can send her phone number to HR in my new work place. She wasn't quite sure because she had been given a raise before so she wouldn't leave, but eventually she agreed and went to interview next day. I wrote her on Whatsapp and called her after the interview and since then we were in nonstop contact on Whatsapp (that was in August).

Our chats on WA started right where our last meetings ended, so mostly work gossips but also different topics and the whole conversation had a nice flow. She asked a lot of questions and I was not in a position to not know what to respond next, it was really easy to chat with her and I was really surprised by it, as I basically didn’t know her at all. I decided to found out if she has a boyfriend, so I asked her some smart indirect questions and sadly found out that she has a boyfriend. I also noticed some weird pattern in her responding, she responded to my messages mostly during work time and only rarely after work and during weekends (but all of her responds were normal interesting messages with a lot of questions). I asked her about it, as I completely respect her relationship, but her response was, that she is not by her phone a lot when she is home and our conversations continued normally.

I finally started to work at this new job and it was tough. I was describing my struggles to her and she was really supportive. I was also sending her a lot of memes and humorous messages and those were awarded by laughing reactions all the time. I started to really like her as a person, so I decided to ask her out on a coffee and I was 100% sure she will decline and this will be end. I wrote her that I would like to meet her as I have so much stuff that I want to talk with her about and I know this place with amazing sweet coffee, that she never had before.

I was shocked when she agreed. I was really happy, but also little bit nervous if our chat dynamic will be preserved in physical conversation. We agreed on some date but eventually she canceled it. I was thinking that she changed her mind and this is the end, so I just offered that we can meet next week and she reacted with heart emoji. I was surprised when she wrote me on Monday, that we can meet today after work. It was really nice we were there for two hours and I felt like it was just half an hour, we could talk for hours with no problems. Then I walked her to the bus and we splitted with her offering to pay next time, which will be during her second interview 3 days later.
We also met 3 days later after her interview, but it was shorter coffee during work time. The dynamic was preserved and it was even better then on Monday. We were looking into each other eyes and I felt great when I make her laugh. But there weren’t any other physical touches or hugs as she has a boyfriend. That was in October.

Our chats on WA still continued in the same dynamic (she responding mostly during work, but always asking a lot of questions and no issues with holding the conversation at all). I decided to ask her out again in November. She agreed but canceled it multiple times shortly before meeting. I told her if she does not want to meet, that we don’t have to, but she responded that a lunch on next Friday is possible. We finally met in December. I paid for lunch and she paid for coffee and again it was really nice. We splitted and she told me that we will hopefully see each other before Christmas again. We didn’t as she left earlier for holidays.

During Christmas she responded rarely (as I was expecting). But she sent me screenshot of some guy requesting follow on her IG, he had same name as me (pretty common name, so not something weird), but completely different face and age. And she was asking if that’s me or just guy with same name, I responded that it is not me and I am not in his age for some time and I sent her my nickname on IG, expecting her to follow me, but it didn’t happen and she just responded with laughing reaction. Weird.

This week they finally contacted her again from my current work about those interviews, so next week will be interesting.

Sorry for a long post but I felt the need to describe our dynamics. For me this relationship is completely weird. I don’t know if she considers our relationship completely as a friendship. I don’t know if I have a chance to be something more than a friend. I don’t know if she is just nice to me. I don’t know what’s the dynamics in her current relationship. I know nothing basically.

For the record I am completely fine with being just a friend with her. I like her as a friend, I like her as colleague a like her as a person. I also like her as a girl, so if there is possibility to be something more, I want to try it, but I don’t want to ask her directly because that will be end to our friendship. She is the first new friend of mine after pandemic, she knows my work background, my business plans, my profession, I can talk to her easily about anything without any pretense or shame, so I don’t want to lose her just because of pathetic attempt to become something more than a friend and destroying her current relationship in between.

Were you in a similar situation? What’s my best plan for future of our relationship? This whole type of relationship is new for me a I cannot really comprehend that in my mind.