If someone is an addict and stops abusing drugs/alcohol unless they get counseling the toxic behavior pattern doesn’t change. They call this dry drunk behavior. Addicts are very much in their own world and never learned how to regulate their emotions. One of the ongoing behavior patterns is avoiding and blaming others when experiencing emotional challenges.

Unfortunately these behaviors are acted out in front of children who think this is normal adult behavior. This is why individuals that grow up in dysfunctional homes miss the red flags that means they are getting involved with someone they see as safe.

Because you are beginning to see the dysfunction you are in it’s normal to not know what to do. And some partners can actually be dangerous.