The thread I wrote about a former roommate has been deleted by the moderators here. I was going to link it to show the parallels between her behavior and my coworker. The previous roommate from 4 years ago has bipolar disorder, don't know if she had psychotic features.

She's the house owner/roommate whose cat and autistic son I took care of (when her ex-husband would drop him off at her house), while she stayed in her bed for an entire year after I moved my mom into her memory care room (she's passed away now).

That roommate's bipolar mania/her scrolling on her cellphone, sending me text message orders for meals, to feed her cat/clean her cat's litterbox for the year I rented her guest bedroom, traumatized me. So, while I'm aware I could be projecting some of that past experience onto my new coworker who revealed to me her bipolar with psychosis diagnosis, I also know that my coworker is not my past roommate.

I did decide after a lot of thought, to draw a boundary and texted my new coworker that I can't be her after-work carpooler anymore. I do have a lot going on but I also need some space from her, since I sit next to her for 8 hours a day. Some of you will read that boundary and assume I'm being discriminating or trying to undermine or sabotage her success at work. Not in the least. I deserve to have my own peace of mind too.

As a recovering codependent, who took care of someone for a year with bipolar disorder, who I had to send to inpatient treatment with the help of her sister I REFUSE to allow my condependent people-pleasing dysfunctional behavior undermine the progress I feel I've made.

I'm fully prepared for my new coworker to act weird towards me for refusing to be her expected carpool because I gave her a few rides home this week. But, I have a right to change my mind based on how I feel. Or maybe she won't treat me any differently. I have no idea.

I just know that I am already dealing with a lot emotionally, regarding my mom's death nearly one year ago and I just don't want to take care of anyone anymore. That's just not in the cards for me. I can be a nice person, but I am not my coworker's CNA. I am not responsible for her well-being. For her getting home. For helping her rebuild her life. I can be a kind coworker and help us both succeed in our dual roles. But that is where my support will start and end.