"Nothing you can do or could have done to change her. You were starved and existed for the morsels she would toss you and even then she would look at you coldly letting you know she was going to discard you. This was her selfish way of gaining a sense of power."

OHMYGOSH YES! TOTALLY YES!

Yes, heavily disordered with no ability to sort her life.

The progression of covert narcissism is to lay a foundation that they can draw from for years. They tend to be smart and accomplished in a specialized manner, then the feelings of entitlement grow, and they work less and less... People should just see how special they are.

The progression of borderline is that they increasingly lack the ability to bring something to fruition. There's no structure, work ethic, or follow through.

And, of course, alcohol abuse exacerbates both.

And she's been taking ADHD stimulants with the alcohol for years now too.

I've rarely seen her drunk, but if you drink 5 glasses of wine (one bottle), don't eat, and only weigh 130 pounds, you probably aren't safe to drive anytime that day.

I've emailed her pictures of me from the DMV

And they have paid parking, with receipts.

And I have a video of me putting the paperwork in the mail to her the last time, in September.

"What do helpless women do?"

It helps that she's beautiful. She's been seen around by lots of people we know in a newer BMW. She's also posted pictures of trips and concerts on FB. So, I expect she's reaping the benefits of transactional relationships. This is the life her friends told her was so wonderful, "You're gonna get half his pay and his investments, and you'll find men that will do stuff for you on dating apps. If one won't, another will. You get positive attention all the time."

We have a saying around here.... Not my circus, not my monkeys.

RDM