Oh, and something Dr. T said the other day made me realize he tends to think about things in percentages. I don't think I shared this part here. I know I mentioned about wanting to be able to update him on H's surgery (I'm over that conflict now, and things seem fine--I really think that was stress over the surgery bubbling over into other stuff).

But it led to a discussion on what reasonable expectations are from people based on relationships. And he was giving an example with my backup T, R, who rents space from him (but they're each solo practitioners). He said, "I mostly think of her as a colleague. She's maybe a 5-10% friend." I looked at him a bit puzzled, but didn't ask what exactly that meant.

He was giving an example of if she asked him to watch her kids for a few hours, he'd think that was a bit odd, but wouldn't tell her that and would be willing to do it. I asked if it would be less weird if it was a neighbor, where he saw the kids regularly. He said yes, that was a good example. That he thought of one particular neighbor, how if she asked him to watch her kids because she had to take her husband to the hospital, he'd say "Of course." But then he said that if she asked him to do that again a month later, he'd think, "What exactly does she think our relationship is?"

He's also referenced before (in relation to my texts a couple years ago confirming in-person) how it's OK if a neighbor asks to borrow sugar once, even two times, but a third time, it becomes an issue. (He mentioned it again the other day.) It feels like he has all these guidelines in his head as to what is acceptable vs. not (in his outside life, too) and just assumes everyone else will know what they are, that they have the same guidelines. You know who that reminds me of? My mom.