Tonight I can't sleep. I don't know if it's the higher dose of Emsam, changing to a mixed episode, or what. I am ruminating over stupid stuff too which isn't helping the sleep. As I think about it last year we had to increase my gabapentin at night during the time I was depressed. I thought it was the depression but maybe it was the higher dose of Emsam. I guess I'll find out.

My PT cleared me for very light aerobics. I wanted to start today but realized I had the energy to do my PT or do the aerobics. So I chose the PT. I guess I'll just be sacrificing on that goal for a bit. I'm supposed to go to PT tomorrow but it looks like I'll probably be snowed in. One of the things I keep obsessing about is that I should join the Y. But until the depression is gone that's just a waste of money because I'd never load myself up in the car, drive there, work out and drove back home when I am tired and feel like I don't care. When I'm better maybe.

I think I'm getting sleepy. I pray I'm getting sleepy. Time to try to sleep anyway.