A little update!

First of all, I want to thank everyone who gave me a read and took time to reply! Your responses have confirmed things I've suspected amout my partner for a long time. It's also nice to see fellow estonians in this thread!

As of right now I'm still in his apartment, but yesterday that almost changed. I've been stuck with a cold for weeks now, which came in as a factor when it came to the birthday party of his friend yesterday. I wasn't feeling too well, but I was willing to pimp myself up to attend, because it is important to him that I try to get along with his friends. In response to that, while he was at work, he kept texting me I shouldn't feel obligated to go with him because 1. I'm not very well and 2. in the context of previous his friends' "happenings" we've been to, I'd be more of a reliability and a risk for him to take along, because he'd have to "babysit" me the whole night since I lack proper social skills to make decent conversation with anyone. All of those things he said deeply hurt me and when I expressed that to him, specifying that alienating myself in that party wasn't my intention and I was actually looking forward to it, he called it "********" and my only goal was to make him miserable the entire time. One thing led to another, his accusations got more and more foul, mean and unjust and at a certain point I slammed my chat shut, started packing up my belongings and had a plan to go flee to my parents' house. I had almost everything together, and then he came home. He saw the bags, he looked at me and started crying. I, of course, folded and stayed. I knew even before he stepped into the apartment that it wasn't going to happen that day.

We made up. Sort of. Things haven't been the same and I haven't been in such a hurry to unpack all of my stuff just yet. I let him know that if something like that ever happens again, we're over for real. Not that I have much confidence that it won't happen, it very likely will, but it bought me time.

Right now I'm going to continue searching for work, collecting money for a potential future walkout and revaluating our relationship in my own head.