I’ve been in and out of therapy, with 3 different therapists for 30 years. For the past year I have been contemplating terminating with my therapist of 8 years. I plan on this being my last therapist, although you never know.

So much of what I’ve struggled with is the relationship’ with each different therapist. From push/pull and hate/love ,to mostly yourning and agony. I could physically feel the pain. You can psychoanalyze that in so many ways., but I always thought that if I can stop with obsessional thoughts I wouldn’t need therapy anymore.

Well I think I’m finally there. Her vacations are no longer torture, I don’t think of her 24x7 during the week, our sessions are mostly about my ‘real’ life and the after affects of sessions don’t haunt me for the rest of the week.

During my time with her we have sort discussed my struggle with therapy and my feelings about her. She has ‘indulged’ me for years, off and on in discussing these thoughts. At some point she started to not encourage these discussion as she felt these thoughts were my way of avoiding ‘real’ issues. I didn’t quite agree with her analysis, but after much pushback from me, years, I finally stopped hitting my head on the brick wall. I stopped talking with her about these thoughts and feelings. I did try and connect with other therapists to talk about my issue, but none would take me on. They all suggested I talk directly with my therapist about my issues. I couldn’t clearly communicate to them that talking about it directly had failed.

I know this has been way too long, but it’s really been the first time I’ve felt comfortable talking about my challenges in therapy. And please don’t get me wrong, I know I have benefited greatly in therapy, but the underlying issues regarding therapy have never been fully understood on my part. Of course I’ve been in therapy long enough to know it comes from my childhood!

For those of you that have terminated, did you leave with some unresolved issues, and if so has it been ok?