I was irresponsible years ago,when i was quite a bit younger but haven't been for a while. She is paying her way now as she found a decent paying job around 2 years ago. The 5 years before that that, i was paying for almost everything and did end up in a little debt, but it is now sorted. This annoys me a lot as that didn't seem to get taken i to account when she made this decision to end the relationship. It's all about the last 2 years (because she is now in a position to save)

I have asked outright, look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want to make a go of this and she won't. She said "things won't change in a few days". I am actively improving myself to show i want it to work, but i think i am deluding myself
It's annoying because if she is dragging this out until she is emotionally ready withought considering my feelings, she isn't the person i thought and i will re-evaluate my last 9 years with her.

I feel like she is disntancing further if i mention the relationship,it feels like i am being dragged along at this point. She has no issue with us holding hands or cuddling but i think that is to just keep me on thw hook enough i won't leave.

Thanks for the reply!