It's not only bipolar that can create those feelings. Some of us (like me) have extended ourselves beyond our own healthy boundaries and get sucked into our partner's lives and disarray. The breaking of that can feel traumatic. I'll never forget the night everything came to a head for me and the kids. I'm thankful my son was driving, because we were driving around and talking about getting them out. I was in the back seat, and when I finally said, "OK, we do this. We have to work together, and I have to get you out," it was like a hand reaching into my chest and grabbing my heart. The pain, the unreal pain, of letting go of something I had pursued and enmeshed myself with for so long was just..... I remember bending over in the back seat of the car and wailing, just full-on wailing, like I'd just traumatically lost a loved one. You went through something similar at church at Christmas.

It gets easier. You'll find yourself again.

RDM