Spirit molecules make me feel very good, and decrease anxiety.

+ I went skiing today, which is very good (There was no snow until recently, couldn't go).

My mom has been so supportive now, and has really helped me past few years. My dad too (Visiting more) - My sister (Free spirit), she's a gift - She sent me some manifesting spiritual book, so I'll get that in the mail. My aunt and uncle/cousins are smart and funny, they help a lot too.

On Saturday, I was tested, suicidal etc.. Past few weeks have been some of the hardest moments in my life (I think cuz I'm not using the 5mg dopamine/norepinephrine/serotonin releaser almost every morning, it's gone - It was a good antidepressant for a few months.. Cuz past 2-3 years, I've been suicidal almost every day).

I think my doctor forgot to book the echocardiogram (Or he's messing with me - If that's the case, I'll just ask again.. He can't say no).

Yesterday, very difficult too.. I was going to put a serotonin releaser into Coca Cola, and drink.. But I decided that my mom would be devastated if I died, and everyone else.. I'm not 20 anymore, can make better decisions.. I'm more free.. Not stuck in the basement, going insane, alone... crying, dancing and throwing up etc, in the dark, or staring at the lightbulb... For years.