I fell asleep around 1 and I woke up at 5:25. Anxiety and mood wise I'm ok. Physically I feel like I got hit by a truck and my head is muck. I emailed my therapist and I said the withdrawels were tough today but I didn't want to switch to telehealth and take the easy way out and what did she suggest. I had asked her last week to try to push me in sessions more and try not to agree with me all the time.

So she gave me a few options and we decided to cancel today and do 2 in person sessions next week. Which works out well since I'll be on a lower dose of the prestiq next week anyways and I'll probably need the extra session. Maybe that was her thinking too.

Anyways, I can't keep my eyes open much and I am way too unsteady to take a shower. Another concern of mine.

But the anxiety part is pretty low today which is progress. And I am doing way better mood wise than I was doing on Tuesday. I actually feel stable for once.

Ugh. It feels like I took too much of something when I actually took less of everything. I haven't even had my 3rd valium yet. I've had coffee and matcha and soda. I did blow a bunch of yellow gunk out of my nose last night.

If you pay for Spotify listen to the Audiobooks Frog And Toad if you have insomnia. The narrator is the guy who wrote the books and he does slight voices but not over the top. When I finally turned it on at 1AM I was asleep by the next chapter.