Had a session with my T today. Trigger warning for health stuff

He of course wants to continue working. But since it has spread, he apparently has like a 50/50 chance to even survive 5 years, so I'm not sure how that will pan out. He did well, though he said he's not sure how to go about patients like me who have such huge abandonment fears. I might make a post later about some things that I'm currently thinking about asking for advice.
I'm coping okay, I am sad but it's kind of like I already knew for three weeks. It's more hard to see him not doing okay. Though I do think my question about what his favorite food is might have made his day a bit better (for anyone wondering, apparently some people have a soft spot for McDonalds burgers...)

In other news, I have reached out to a potential new T. He already gave me a first appointment to get to know him. I'm a bit intrigued by the "main focus: forensic psychiatry", But he does work with BPD as well as substance use and trauma, is not too far from old T, but far enough to not constantly trigger me. He's a bit younger than T, which makes me feel more at ease about issues, although I of course will still worry. He's been let in on the basics of the story too and what I want from him. I think ideally I'd want to slowly switch, and certainly have them talk at least once.