I can try to understand. If you saw my messy room in the past year you would know I'm not doing well. I think we need to stop sometimes, it's fine to cry. I had to hold my tears in for so long, it will eventually have to be released.
I'm glad to hear your other sister was helpful. One moment at a time, you are doing the best you can. After thinking about the friend I had most of my life, I called one last time. I give up. Take it easy on yourself a bit... us with really bad depression are usually critisized in one way or another.