I'm getting into a really bad sleep pattern. I fall asleep between 9:30-10:0 but wake ready to party (aside from the depression not making me a fun party guest). I'm supposed to take meds at 11 but I'm sleeping through that. That I wake up about midnight and take the meds but falling asleep again is hard and then I wake up several times during the night, sometimes for a while. I tried not napping today (but I didn't do anything but stare at screens because it's all I was up for) and I still fell asleep even earlier. I remember 9:15 so I probably was asleep near then.

I found myself thinking today that I must not be so depressed if I was staying awake and didn't feel absolutely miserable. But then I realized that I had done absolutely nothing but screens, shower and eat. And I didn't cook, just microwaved spicy noodle cup. And that regardless I didn't feel very happy. By now I just feel bad again.


Depression sucks.