I agree. The empty nest isn’t fun and I miss them terribly, but it pales in comparison to seeing marriage disintegrate. Not even close. I’m sure the empty nest issues would be easier if your marriage was healthy and you had each other to share those feelings with.

I have always hoped and still hope that we can fix our problems. Even though there is very little evidence for this I hold on to this hope. I’m sure all people married had dreams of how the future would be and all that gets vaporized with a divorce; visiting adult children and grandchildren together, travelling together , etc…, whatever it is. The loss is just devastating. I know that no one wins the blame game, but I can’t express my regret over the actions and decisions I made which has largely led to my current situation. Even though by all appearances and I cannot repair it, I cling to home that magically somehow I will figure out a way.