@CANDC,

Thing for me is , that when I look back I believe I could have done a much better job as her husband. We married young. I knew she loved me and I knew that I loved her but also knew there were some issues and doubts I had that I figured would improve over time. Looking back ( we moved in together 34 years ago) I should have recognized these real issues and had the courage to tell her I wasn’t ready , maybe. Instead we got married , had children about 7 years later after she finished grad school and now here we are . I could have and should have had my walls and windows up protecting our marriage. I look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I guess I just didn’t appreciate the real risks I was taking and the fallout that would occur. I didn’t think about the potential devastating effects this would have on either of us, much less our kids.