I'm sorry, this all looks in such bad taste. It's such an overwhelming feeling of relief.

And I truly, truly did believe all the threatening things I was told for years; that I'd lose contact with the kids, that I'd be left with nothing, that I'd learn what it was like to deal with a powerful woman, that she didn't need me, that she was smarter than me, that I was a millstone around her neck holding her back, that I'd never accomplish everything she had in her education and her career, that she had friends that were like sisters and she didn't need a man, that I needed her to look after finances because I wasn't capable of it, etc. etc.

And right now, I'm sure reality still isn't reaching her. This is all my fault. I've manipulated everything, including the court.

Her anger was so, so unreal at me for so many years. I can not begin to imagine what it is like now, and there's nowhere for her to direct it. There is no one in her orbit now that has to take any of that anger from her.

My earlier comments about "transactional relationships" will hold true with all her relationships. Which means, she will be expected to contribute, as a friend, room-mate, co-worker, romantic partner, in ways that I never insisted she contribute. That must be a hard one to face too.

Pay day is Thursday. I had just enough money in the account to buy gas until Thursday.... Then the child support came in.

Yeah, giddy with relief in so many ways.

RDM