@Open Eyes you're absolutely right - he is a danger to himself and others and has been for a long time. The fact of the matter is that the destructive behavior never stopped - the only time when he was the man I married was when he was institutionalized in a structured environment when I used to visit him. That's the harsh reality of the place he needs to be. Enabling him from afar helps no one, and this is the best thing I could have done.

The hard part is actually picking up the pieces and moving on.