@RDMercer, watched a YouTube video that I think will really help you in your personal healing as you break away from your toxic wife.

The video is called Outsmart a Narcissist : A Proven 4- Step Plan to Take Your Power Back. This is put out by Mel Robbins.

This explains a lot about narcissistic behavior and how a person develops it and what it means so you can identify it and take steps to avoid falling victim. It will help you understand how you unknowingly got addicted to how your wife tested you and when you would experience a reward from her. This creates an actual addiction in the brain that victims are not consciously aware of.

You have talked about having empathy and I can see that however that can work against you and leave you vulnerable and that can hurt you when you need to be strong instead. If you set aside some time to watch this informational video you will see what I mean. Once you watch it you may feel it can be very helpful for your children to watch as well.

Add in your wife’s need to abuse and self medicate with alcohol and it’s no wonder your children fear her. One thing you don’t want is your children to begin to use drugs to escape. That NEVER fixes or solves anything. Instead it prevents emotional maturity to gradually take place.