Can you describe in detail what goes on in your mind when you feel suicidal? What kind of ideation do you have? Do you simply want not to be living or do you ideate specific ways to end your life?

I am glad it does not happen frequently to you, the suicidal feelings.

Can you also describe specifically what you do for self care? And daily routines: do you exercise, how many hours do you sleep, etc. Are you on any medication? Are you just seeing this new therapist or do you also have a prescribing psychiatrist? If the latter, have you told that person (called pdoc on these forums) about your occasional suicidal feelings?