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all4themusic said:
hi i posted in here a few days ago about wanting to start therapy, and thank you for all of your response. i did get a message today and will hopefully be able to set something up tomorrow appointment wise.

i have another question though. i was wondering if therapists are required by law to take any action if you tell them that you're having thoughts of suicide, like if they have to report it to someone or hospitalize you. i don't think that i'm actually "suicidal", as in i wouldn't really make an attempt but the thoughts keep creeping in and tonight has been the worst to date. i'm afraid that if i do let a therapist know they may try to intervene in a way that would seriously throw my life and career off track and i just can't deal with that.

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A musician in my midst? Excellent.
No, therapists don't LIKE to put people in a hospital environment (LOL that's for those hospital crazy psychiatrists), and it's perfectly normal to have suicidal ideation AKA suicidal THOUGHTS. Talking about it with the therapist will usually make the person feel better, even if it's just a wee little bit at first. Your therapist hears this sort of thing, gosh... probably AT LEAST every day, and more than likely, more than once a day. They are experts at handling such volatile emotional states, and they will do their very best to keep you out of the psychiatric ward. Even homicidal ideation isn't that uncommon... INTENT is what matters. He'll probably be very direct in asking if you have any intentions or plans and means to do so, but don't be thrown off by his directness or the oddity of the discussion.

Please do talk about it though. There isn't anything to be scared of, and I promise he won't think you are acting stupid or belittle you or anything. Even the worst therapist I ever had never did that.
After you meet with him for the first time, will you come back and tell me what happened and if he met your expectations?