I haven't checked in here for a while. There's been good and bad in my life. The good is that I believe I made a new friend. A British lady who lives in my town with her Czech husband. She's very nice!

Long venting below. I understand if you skip.
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The bad is that the inheritance hell continues. I want it over with, but done right. My sister hasn't responded to me since early December. She didn't respond to my Christmas greetings. I did nothing wrong and our last proper correspondence was actually very positive, with her truly thanking me for something. Since then, it's clear that her abusive husband had embarked on a demonization campaign aimed at me. Throughout much of the process he forced her to be secretive about many things I was entitled to know about it. It is my sister's fiduciary duty to share key things. I ask for no more than that. Because I have a lawyer to represent me for things, he sees me as not trusting HIM, basically, though I'm sure he tells her it's HER I don't trust. He controls my sister, monitors her correspondence and phone calls with me and started writing correspondence to me under her name. Umm, I can tell and she basically confirmed it. They know that I know. Once she tried creating a "secret" email account to use for correspondence, but he discovered it. Her silence may be partially a result of his demonization, partly because by not she is spared his constant harassment, and/or partly because she feels incapable of finding a way to correspond without his knowledge. It is clear that the inheritance stuff led my sick b-i-l to see me as an adversary. It kills me that in a way he is abusing me, too. And wanted to control me. A lawyer helps in avoiding direct unwelcome contact with him. I would trust my sister, but never trust him. As my sister is controlled by him, it's true I can't trust her. She's been his lifelong prisoner, weak, her low self-esteem deepened, made to think that if she rebels she hurts him, afraid of life without him, as he tells her she would never manage, otherwise. I know his diagnosis. It's a tough one to deal with, especially as he does not accept treatment or responsibility for his actions. He's paranoid and sometimes delusional. He isolates my sister. When my sister has fought back, his go-to is also to manipulate her by threatening his own life, begging her not to leave him, showering her with declarations of love and showing misery. When she gives in, abuse and control resume and he then convinces her she did wrong. Once she managed to get him to stop booze by taking my youngest nephew to an abuse shelter. Upon return, again abuse resumed, and again, it became her bad. I believe him partially responsible for my nephew's death, and he must know it. As I live far away, my sister's isolation is complete. A few years ago, he started drinking again.

I grieve the possible loss of my sister. Even if we eventually correspond again, it's always under his eyes and full control. That requires it be superficial. Without her, I have no real biological family left, in a sense. So so sad! Of course not just for me, but her, as well. I love her and know she loves me. I can't expect her to ever visit me in Europe. I believe he won't allow it. He tells her it is dangerous here in Czechia, which is preposterous, as it is safer than in many parts of the US. If I move to France, she says she won't visit me there, either. The husband told her the French are nasty American haters, which is also ridiculous. Dude has never even been further away than Canada, and only as a child. When I visit New Jersey now, he limits her time with me. The incentive for me to visit there is low. So much grief!