Hi,
I am a 39 year old wife and mother of two. I get what you are saying. I am struggling with admitting I am anorexic because I feel too fat to be anorexic, but I am below the lowest weight for my height on the charts, I know I am in trouble. It takes alot to admit that you need help and the fear of gaining weight is what has kept me from getting help but this week I am going on two intake appointments for eating disorder support groups because I can not stop losing weight. I have maintained this weight for a month by barely eating and exercising heavily but I want to lose more, but I am scared of landing up in the hospital or having a heart attack. I don't know what kind of advice to give you, I just want you to know I understand what you have written, my family is the same way - they are trying to help in their own way, they care- and you are certainly not alone.
Keep posting and I am sure you will make some friends here and get the support that you need.