It's ok lol ^-

I'm not okay. I have heart palps when lying down (Because of self medicating), so I did more self medicating - But I snapped back to my senses. Not looking forward to going to sleep tonight, but took 1.5 benzos (First time I did that in a long time).

I have my bag packed - I go to work in the morning, and then I go on my moms work trip (Deeper into the rockies) for 3 days, it'll be fun.

Then my dad will visit. Just hopefully my heart OCD doesn't ruin everything. But I'm using a Zen like tactic to take my mind off of it..

I talked with my psychiatrist. I'm having more symptoms of schizophreina, but I told my psychiatrist to not worry about it for now. Yesterday was a lot of anxiety (Work, and had a blood test too), had slight DPDR and almost had a panic attack.

My hobby is mainly being on the "Intellectual Dark Web" for now - I'd like to change that.. But time will pass, every day gets better. Just got to focus on my own little life, and not worry about things that I can't control.