Griffe,
I haven't figured out the crying thing yet either. Just wanted to say you can break bad parenting the cycle!

I was really down on my parenting last year, still have a lot of the self-hating nonsense going on in my head sometimes, but I am trying to see through it. One thing that help me (and my kids) a lot early on was when I heard the voice in my head calling me a pathetic parent, cold, stupid, unfeeling, etc... I would find one of my kids and give them a hug or compliment. I felt awkward doing it at first, but my kids didn't mind, in fact my oldest (11 yr) sucked up the attention. It was exactly what both of us needed most. Me to show my love and for him to feeling it more. Try it, you might like it.