Thanks LT. apparently there was a lot more built up behind this crap today. He just let out a litany of other things that he's been holding in that he's been mad about for the past 6 months. i asked if he wants a divorce and he yelled some more and said how would that help either of us we'd have to sell the house and find new places to live. he's in there seething, i'm bawling again, and i don't know what to do to make this right.