I've never done anything like this before but I'm trying to strengthen my coping toolkit. I'm struggling to manage my emotions and I find myself having to disassociate just to function, keep the people around me safe and mitigate exposing people to my manic and erratic states. I started self harming again and last night I chose to drink to much and ended roaming my neighborhood nude crying and incoharent. I'm sacred because I'm a single parent, we live in a rural small town therapeutic resources are scarce and I hate when my mental health positions my children to take care of me.