((((lavenderghost))))
I feel so sorry for your pain and wish there was something I could say to alleviate your suffering.
I can say that I'm angry at those who've called you ugly... they're not good people. Stay away from them. They don't deserve your kind heart.
Now that you have injured yourself, could you engage in an opposite positive aspect of selfcare now, such as taking a luxurious bath and putting on some skin cream? Listen to some nice music, perhaps?