"For many years, I had built a fairly stable adult life and was able to stay in the present. But after two near death experience in 1994, I have fallen apart and it has never been the same since."

freespirit, something similar happened to me. I maintained a very stable adult life until the two deaths of my brothers ages 38 and 42. I fell hard from the highest point in my life and smashed into fragments. I am trying hard to glue myself back together.

Onlymedid, I hope you don't mind that I hijacked for a minute.