I posted before about my BF with DID. He and I are doing fine. He and his Protector? Well...
(can I just call them Jon and Jonathan - Main and Protector?)

Jonathan has decided that they need to integrate. Jon's OK with the idea, but it's not working very well yet in practice. Jon doesn't trust Jonathan because Jonathan used to take over a LOT, and he caused a lot of trouble. So Jon isn't comfortable with the idea of "sharing" with Jonathan.

I don't know anything about DID and personalities and integration. The only people I know have a system, and the system works fairly well together. I don't know anything about the integration process...

They are..."speed switching". I guess that's a way to describe it. Before, I had Jon most of the time, and Jonathan for 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there. Enough time for a conversation, but not all day. Last Thursday and again last night, they were just coming and going for a while. Not even five minutes, and they switched again.

I'm just kind of worried about them. Jonathan decided last Thursday that he wants to "be together", and he tells me that he's trying to learn to cooperate. Even though Jon talks about "being together", too, he doesn't trust Jonathan not to take over. Is this sort of back and forth normal? How does integration work?

In other news, Jonathan tells me that he loves me, too. He told me he won't touch me sexually (although Jon doesn't believe him). I don't know if that would bother me or not...but that's between the two of them. Not my business as long as I know who's "here". I do feel badly for Jonathan, tho. He's such a hard-*** most of the time 'cause that's his job, but sometimes he sounds really tired and lonely.

Jonathan wants to be my Protector as well. He almost got into it with a girl last night because she was saying that Bisexuals are "freaks", and he didn't like that because I'm "not a freak!". I'm flattered, but I'm a big girl and I don't need protecting. Not like that.

I'm really confused...I love this man - all of him. I just don't want to do anything wrong, and I'm not sure what's going on or who to talk to about it.