Oh my. I am not clear what you mean by "I'm sacred because I'm a single parent". Sacred in what way?

You probably need an antipsychotic medication now to bring you down from mania ASAP. Your children depend on you and this situation has to be straightened out. Therapeutic resources and peer support are great, but at this moment you need psychopharmacology. Do you have a psychiatrist (called "pdoc" on these forums)? Or a psychiatric nurse practitioner? How far is the closest big city? When you call yourself manic, is it your self-diagnosis or has someone officially diagnosed you? If the latter, what did that person prescribe?

It is not good, self-harm and self-medication with alcohol. You need help!! I agree with TheGal and am asking you to please cross-post this on the Bipolar forum here. You will get compassion and ideas on where to go from here.