HI,
I read the book, "I Hate You, Dont Leave Me" and found the book outdated as well. I also read Rachel Reiland's book and didn't care for it. I have read Borderline DeMystified ( by Freedman) and thought it was a good book. I've also read New Hope for Borderline Personality Disorder and thought it was a good resource. I read a few other books as well. For depression, I thought 2 books were good written by a pyschiatrist who also experienced severe depression, Richard O'Connor. Active Treatment for Depression and Undoing Depression. If you are interested in other books for BPD, send me a PM.