I truly appreciate the responses.

I wish that I had proper support instead of being forced to live with my toxic mother bc I lost my drivers license for the past three years. I just got fired too so no health insurance or income. I feel like I have been getting signs to end my life from “higher powers”. Nothing has worked and nothing improves for the past 20 years.

I am being punished lifelong for unintentionally choosing abusers who destroyed me and my life forever.