I realized during my coda meeting last night just what a freakin' stranglehold this codependent need for control has over me. I felt so utterly broken last night and practically fell to my knees on camera to beg my higher power to remove that particular character default. I feel utterly broken because of the mess our relationship is right now, too. That stuff you said on Friday about my "********" just cut me to the very core and I don't think I can ever look at you the same again. I'm afraid to come in on Friday and tell you that, and I'm afraid to call and cancel too. Afraid you'll be mad and yell at me either way. And I feel too fragile for that. I haven't felt this broken, this much shame, in a long time.