I know this topic has been discussed to death but I am really struggling with it and need to talk about it.
Some of you may have read my post from several months ago where I talked about stumbling across some very personal information about T/her family. I felt horrible about it but managed to come clean and tell T. It was incredibly humiliating to explain how I actually managed to find this information as I really had to go out of my way and look at her family members' profiles. T responded well and didn't seem uncomfortable or angry about it but I still felt guilty.
I banned myself from looking at any of the profiles after that by blocking all of them but that only lasted a month or two. Since then I have been looking at photos of T and her family members' profiles regularly. We hadn't talked about it since then but last session the topic unexpectedly came up in conversation. T asked if I have still banned myself from looking and I had to admit that no, I started looking again. She told me it was okay but it doesn't feel okay. I feel incredibly ashamed and guilty about it yet I can't stop? Why am I so obsessed with her? T said she thinks we should talk about it more and while agree that talking about it is probably the only way to work through this, I am terrified. I am terrified I am going to say something that crosses the line and she will stop seeing me. I also worry she's not going to like me if I tell her everything or that I will be punished somehow.
For those of you who have gone through this, how did you resolve it? How did you stop?
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