I did not exercise self control. I went with it and it got too far. I think at this point I've realized there is a time before we can do things. We did not go as far as unprotected penis in vagina sex. But the embrace was intimate. With kisses. And we kissed on the lips, and body. And there was grinding with clothes on and no restraint and no rational thinking. I felt sorry for doing that. I don't want to use him or be used. I cried and slapped myself and felt anger towards myself as I felt I disrespected my body. I prayed and vowed never to disgrace my body again. And now a change has come over me emotionally. So I refocused on my studying. I confided in my friends and my sister. Am soon to tell my dad and thereafter completely immerse myself in my work. I had said risky earlier. Not that I'll get attached to him, because I think it is only sexual attraction. But because my feelings of guilt and shame will affect me. My sister said the act is not wrong, the person is, so it didn't feel right. Thank you all for listening to me and giving me advice. I realize that we are God's creation, and lustful feelings are part of being a normal person. I am seeking therapy from a new counselor. I want to keep sharing my feelings as they come up.