It's just hard.

We moved several times pursuing common goals. Now I live in a community far removed from where I'm from. I've built a good career here, but we aren't from here and have no long term ties here.

We aren't on anyone's list of people to include for holidays or events or anything.

I'm not able to give up the career I have built to try for something else somewhere else. My kids want to stay here too, so I'm here.

I did these things and shaped my career and education and moved communities all for the sake of common goals. At some point she just stopped. She has years and years of incomplete diplomas and courses now.

So. I'm just here. We have good people around us, but you all know what I mean. We aren't "someone" to anyone. If I left from here next week there'd be no one missing me or looking for me.

I liked being partnered with someone.